As I re-read what I posted yesterday, I have no regrets. I wrote straight from my heart and I stand by every word. I think when we share negative emotions, it can go two ways, either it can be freeing to express our frustrations, or we can feel like we want to take back our negative words. I feel free!
As I mulled over my words yesterday, I realized that what I was looking for on those forums, was friendships. But can you honestly have friendships online with complete or nearly complete strangers? I thought that I could. I still believe that it is possible in the right settings to form lasting friendships. My husband was quick to remind me, that forums tend to be cliquish as well as superficial and maybe they are not the best place for someone like me, who is prone to caring too much. I think he may be right about that. I do have to say that I have met a lot of wonderful people, who opened my eyes to a lot of things that I wouldn't otherwise have known about. So it's not a total loss. I have also traveled thru the country to meet up with many of them, which for me, is a huge thing for me to have done. Traveling by myself and meeting up with strangers, is a huge threshold for me, that normally I would avoid doing. But I did it!! So I can be proud of myself for that.
Being on forums, I was exposed to new ideas and different ways of doing things. I've learned about natural horsemanship, I've learned how to stretch myself out and share what I normally would keep to myself. I've picked up on information regarding Essential Oils, learning to be positive (I was formally the Drama Queen of Negativity), I was introduced to the Laws of Attraction, new recipes (friends are always good for getting you out of cooking ruts)... oh, all sorts of new things I've learned. And I will always be grateful for the things that I've picked up from those that I've met on forums.The people I have met, are wonderful people.
That being said, I've had to face that the down side of forums, were too much for me to handle. And that's okay. It's good to recognize what you feel comfortable with and what you don't. The down side for me is the tendency on forums, for many people to speed read. Speed reading is something we've all done from time to time when we're in a rush and want to catch up quickly. But done on a regular basis, it's a disservice that we do to others. My personal opinion (being the sensitive type) is that if someone is sharing something, then it is important to them. And I want to acknowledge that. But not everyone feels as I do. So that was a struggle for me. Sometimes, and I've had this happen to me several times, is that someone will scan thru something you've written and respond. And then others will look at that poster's comments and make comments based on what was said, not the original post. I literally, got into an argument one time, when I posted something, someone else responded without paying attention to what I had written and more people responded to the misrepresentation. Oh my, what a mess as I tried to sort it out and repeat the correct version and someone actually argued with me about my own story. Seriously??!!! And because I tried to fix the misconception, with one of the "in" people, I was on the outs with this group for several weeks!!! Why I stayed, is beyond me. The problem was, people didn't want to take the time to read what one another was posting. I find responding to someone, by skimming over what is written or using someone else's comments as a base from which you respond, is just plain rude. Someone took the time to write- to share their thoughts and speed reading and then responding, is disrespectful. If you don't have time to carefully read and respond, just say that.
Another down side would be the "in" group. This one forum that I'm on, there is a definite "in group"... lovely ladies all, but those 5 or 6 people, tend to have conversations thru the day, amongst themselves and the rest of us tend to be the tag a longs. I suppose that's human nature to some degree, but for someone like me, who when I share something, I'm sharing from my heart, so when it gets ignored, it hurts me. Anyways, after looking at this and speaking with my husband about my frustrations, I can now easily see, that as much as I like the people and have learned a lot from them, this is just not a setting that works well for me. It's just not worth feeling so hurt during the day. I would do better with face to face friendships, with my personality. I don't need to feel like I have to be someone I'm not, just to fit in. And that's what I was ending up doing.
Anyways... Life moves on and I've been neglecting the things that I was enjoying doing. It would be great and wonderful if I had some people that I could share my excitement and discouragements with... but I have to face that I don't have that... yet. But that shouldn't stop me from doing what I enjoy. So it's time to get back to that and leave forum life behind. And with that said, I have some more tote bags that I need to be finishing up. Later, I will post the ones that I have already finished.
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