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This one is my Dragonfly Quilt. I keep finding myself drawn to the turquoise colors
I will be definitely be making more quilts, using these two patterns.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
"Go To" Quilts
This one is my Dragonfly Quilt. I keep finding myself drawn to the turquoise colors
I will be definitely be making more quilts, using these two patterns.
Tote Bags for Cancer Patients Begins...
This tote bag pictured here, while it was not the first
bag that I made for a friend of mine that has cancer, it
certainly was the start of me wanting to make these to give away to other cancer patients. I just love the whimsical and cheery pattern.
The inside pockets are big enough to hold a couple of water bottles on one side and a Nook or Kindle on the other side.
What a blessing.... this my dear friends, is the response from some very lovely ladies, when I asked for fabric donations to make these tote bags. And there's still MORE to come!!!
bag that I made for a friend of mine that has cancer, it
certainly was the start of me wanting to make these to give away to other cancer patients. I just love the whimsical and cheery pattern.
The inside pockets are big enough to hold a couple of water bottles on one side and a Nook or Kindle on the other side.
This purple print bag is the first of hopefully many, many bags, that will be given away.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Fantasy vs Reality
I hadn't realized this until now, but apparently I have been living in some dream world, as a way of coping with reality. Okay, before you think I'm totally off of my rocker, let me explain.
My husband took off a 4 day weekend. I thought this would be quite nice... 4 days to ourselves. :-) But the first 2 days, he spent more time on the computer or watching tv or playing video games. :-( I felt hurt and disappointed, but thankfully I have my quilting to keep me occupied. Anyways, I have no idea what prompted him to ask me, as I'm drinking my first cup of coffee no less, what I wanted to do today? Huh? Well, as I said, I was still on my first cup of coffee, trying to wake up. So I really had no idea. Secondly, I was a bit put out, that he waits two days, before he decides that we should do something together. He on the other hand, couldn't figure out why I was so put out. Sigh...In the course of our conversation, he had the realization that it was unfair of him, to "zone out" so much when he is home and then expect me to be all excited about him wanting to do something with me, every once in a great while. But I too, had a revelation.
Here he was, finally... asking to do something with me, and I had NO answer!! It got me to thinking of all of the times that I thought about day trips, or maybe going out to lunch, going on vacations, etc, but because this never happened, no matter how many times I told him what I'd like, these things were just dreams of mine. Just like the bridal shows that are on tv. Yes... I do watch them. I get to live out, something that I never experienced. That time of shopping for a bridal gown and planning a wedding. We won't go into that, but suffice to say, my wedding was not one of my dreams, nor was the dress that I wore. It's a dream world that I live in, one in which I get to live out, what is not true or has not been true in my life... as if I had. :-/ Today's discussion with my husband, got me to realize that I've shut down so many of my emotions and dream of what cannot be, as a way of surviving I guess. Sad, but true.
He asked me if my quilting and the tote bag project, was something I really wanted to do or was that too, a part of surviving an unhappy life. Actually, it is in part, both. I do enjoy my quilting. And I do want to make these tote bags. But I'll be honest, the tote bag idea, I never once considered that for real (again, only in my dreams and wishes) that most of the people that I've mentioned this to, would have responded in such a generous way. All of a sudden, this was a reality and people were taking me seriously!!! And now I too, have to take me seriously. Weird, huh? I've been so used to my little dream world where what I say, do and want, mean something to me and others and I'm not sure what to do, now that some of it at least, is a reality. It's just an odd concept to be taken seriously or like I truly exist.
My husband took off a 4 day weekend. I thought this would be quite nice... 4 days to ourselves. :-) But the first 2 days, he spent more time on the computer or watching tv or playing video games. :-( I felt hurt and disappointed, but thankfully I have my quilting to keep me occupied. Anyways, I have no idea what prompted him to ask me, as I'm drinking my first cup of coffee no less, what I wanted to do today? Huh? Well, as I said, I was still on my first cup of coffee, trying to wake up. So I really had no idea. Secondly, I was a bit put out, that he waits two days, before he decides that we should do something together. He on the other hand, couldn't figure out why I was so put out. Sigh...In the course of our conversation, he had the realization that it was unfair of him, to "zone out" so much when he is home and then expect me to be all excited about him wanting to do something with me, every once in a great while. But I too, had a revelation.
Here he was, finally... asking to do something with me, and I had NO answer!! It got me to thinking of all of the times that I thought about day trips, or maybe going out to lunch, going on vacations, etc, but because this never happened, no matter how many times I told him what I'd like, these things were just dreams of mine. Just like the bridal shows that are on tv. Yes... I do watch them. I get to live out, something that I never experienced. That time of shopping for a bridal gown and planning a wedding. We won't go into that, but suffice to say, my wedding was not one of my dreams, nor was the dress that I wore. It's a dream world that I live in, one in which I get to live out, what is not true or has not been true in my life... as if I had. :-/ Today's discussion with my husband, got me to realize that I've shut down so many of my emotions and dream of what cannot be, as a way of surviving I guess. Sad, but true.
He asked me if my quilting and the tote bag project, was something I really wanted to do or was that too, a part of surviving an unhappy life. Actually, it is in part, both. I do enjoy my quilting. And I do want to make these tote bags. But I'll be honest, the tote bag idea, I never once considered that for real (again, only in my dreams and wishes) that most of the people that I've mentioned this to, would have responded in such a generous way. All of a sudden, this was a reality and people were taking me seriously!!! And now I too, have to take me seriously. Weird, huh? I've been so used to my little dream world where what I say, do and want, mean something to me and others and I'm not sure what to do, now that some of it at least, is a reality. It's just an odd concept to be taken seriously or like I truly exist.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Change is in the Air
How do I explain what it is that I feel? What is swirling around in my mind? For a while now, I've been feeling like I am on the edge of some kind of break through. Some who have known me for a while, might even feel that I've become more distant and perhaps I have been, as I sort out all that is going thru my mind.
For most of my life, I've been looking for "the place" where I fit in, where I belong. What I know for sure is, sometimes where we belong, is seasonal. Sometimes it's a forever place. Often times, it seems to be ever changing, the more we grow, the more we may find that we want different things from our lives. And sometimes it cements what we believe in and stand for. For myself, I feel like all of the walls and obstacles that have been in my way for most of my life, are falling away, leaving me with a clearer vision of what I want for my life.
I recently met a new friend, who has cancer. She's been battling it, in one form or another, for 5 yrs. I got a chance to meet her in person yesterday. We sat down and chatted for hours and I got to hear, how it feels for her, to live with it and try to fight it. I heard of the devastating toll it has taken on her and her partner. I heard of the life she once had and how cancer has stolen that from her. For reasons that I cannot explain, her story has touched me. Her partner of 23 yrs has been telling me bits and pieces of their story with cancer, while he was working on re doing our bathroom for us. It was because of the things that he shared, that I suddenly felt compelled to make tote bags to give to cancer patients. Anyways, that is a story for another time. Let's just say, that Kim's story, is part of the breakthrough.
Along side of that, are my kids. It's been over 4 yrs ago, since I've last heard from my beloved daughter Jen. I have no idea, where she is at, what she is doing or even if she is alive. That has done it's own damage to me. One that I've had to face and deal with. But recently, my youngest son, has also decided to cut out contact with the entire family and like his sister, no one knows why. Today is Father's Day... and no phone call from him, not to his brother, who recently became a father, nor to his own dad. And again, I find myself hurting and confused at his silence.
These are just two things out of many, that have come together and help me to get clearer about what I want for my own life. Some things, I cannot control anything more, than how I chose to handle it. Other things, have made me re consider, past friendships and who I really feel that I can continue on with, in the future. It's not to indicate that anyone is a bad person, per se... but rather, those that I have outgrown, because we're headed in entirely different directions.
Life is precious. Our time on earth is short. Some shorter than others. It is not a good idea for any one of us, to live our life, solely to please someone else and forsake ourselves. The best gift that we can give to anyone, is in being ourselves. Some will appreciate it, others won't. It pretty much helps you to weed, who should stay and who you need to let go of, because you're not doing either one of you a favor in the long run.
How this will all turn out, is any one's guess. But I know in my heart, that I need to continue to let go of what is holding me back, whether it be something that is too negative to be good for me or if it's something that I realize that our time has run out and it's time for me to move away and continue forward.
For most of my life, I've been looking for "the place" where I fit in, where I belong. What I know for sure is, sometimes where we belong, is seasonal. Sometimes it's a forever place. Often times, it seems to be ever changing, the more we grow, the more we may find that we want different things from our lives. And sometimes it cements what we believe in and stand for. For myself, I feel like all of the walls and obstacles that have been in my way for most of my life, are falling away, leaving me with a clearer vision of what I want for my life.
I recently met a new friend, who has cancer. She's been battling it, in one form or another, for 5 yrs. I got a chance to meet her in person yesterday. We sat down and chatted for hours and I got to hear, how it feels for her, to live with it and try to fight it. I heard of the devastating toll it has taken on her and her partner. I heard of the life she once had and how cancer has stolen that from her. For reasons that I cannot explain, her story has touched me. Her partner of 23 yrs has been telling me bits and pieces of their story with cancer, while he was working on re doing our bathroom for us. It was because of the things that he shared, that I suddenly felt compelled to make tote bags to give to cancer patients. Anyways, that is a story for another time. Let's just say, that Kim's story, is part of the breakthrough.
Along side of that, are my kids. It's been over 4 yrs ago, since I've last heard from my beloved daughter Jen. I have no idea, where she is at, what she is doing or even if she is alive. That has done it's own damage to me. One that I've had to face and deal with. But recently, my youngest son, has also decided to cut out contact with the entire family and like his sister, no one knows why. Today is Father's Day... and no phone call from him, not to his brother, who recently became a father, nor to his own dad. And again, I find myself hurting and confused at his silence.
These are just two things out of many, that have come together and help me to get clearer about what I want for my own life. Some things, I cannot control anything more, than how I chose to handle it. Other things, have made me re consider, past friendships and who I really feel that I can continue on with, in the future. It's not to indicate that anyone is a bad person, per se... but rather, those that I have outgrown, because we're headed in entirely different directions.
Life is precious. Our time on earth is short. Some shorter than others. It is not a good idea for any one of us, to live our life, solely to please someone else and forsake ourselves. The best gift that we can give to anyone, is in being ourselves. Some will appreciate it, others won't. It pretty much helps you to weed, who should stay and who you need to let go of, because you're not doing either one of you a favor in the long run.
How this will all turn out, is any one's guess. But I know in my heart, that I need to continue to let go of what is holding me back, whether it be something that is too negative to be good for me or if it's something that I realize that our time has run out and it's time for me to move away and continue forward.
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