Relationships

I've recently had a series of instances that have happened, that got me to question the relationships that I have in general. It seems that I've acquired over the years, numerous relationships that are not healthy for me. What I know for sure is... I no longer want or need, relationships in which I walk away from being with someone and feel stupid or I feel upset. I don't want to feel like I need to be "fixed", when all I'm looking for is a safe place to fall or for support. I no longer want to hang around people, in which I feel the majority of the time spent with them, whether in person or on the phone, is all about them. I really do enjoy a two way conversation. Nor do I want to be in relationships in which I feel shut out, disrespected. I don't care if you agree with me, I just care that I can walk away from time spent with you, and still feel good about myself... and you.

A long time ago, I heard Dr Phil McGraw say, "we teach people how to treat us". And there's a lot of truth in that. I think that things in my past, had me believing that I just wasn't smart enough or good enough and that has led me to hold back in a conversation or to not stand up for myself... thru creating boundaries of what I was willing to accept and not accept. As we've all heard, we only get ONE life and it's up to us... to choose how we're going to live it. Well here I am, at 55 yrs of age and it's past time for me, to find the courage to hold my head up high and not allow the potential loss of a relationship, to dictate what I can and cannot say.

I have to choose to believe, that I AM a good person and deserving of being treated with respect. What I know for sure is... that there's a lot of relationships that I've held onto, because of how they once were, that are not fitting into who I am today. Some of them, I'm not ready to fully let go of. And those would be the ones, that I need to learn, for the time being, to hold at arms length, until I can accept that I have outgrown them. But I know that this recent incident with my own son, has really gotten me thinking of how I want to live the rest of my life, and it isn't in being a doormat, nor is it accepting disrespectful behavior.